Archive for September, 2010

As the dreaded weekend looms closer and closer by the minute, so does my anxiety grows. It should have been one of joy and celebration, but I am overwhelmed by worry that things will turn ugly~REALLY ugly because there are people in this world who just don’t give a flying rat’s ass about others, the circumstances, who they embarass/humiliate, or what the consequences are. Anything and everything is expendable when it comes to opening up their yapper and spewing out shit.

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Grace

Posted: September 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

God said, “My Grace is sufficient.”

I managed to not miss this morning’s Epi live talk and was glad I attended. This is an extraordinarily slow day on the job, giving me the spare time to study. Just when I thought nobody gives a damn about me, it turned out that maybe it was I who needed to open up more to others and try to be more receptive.

If God punishes those who mistreat me, wouldn’t it have been better if He planned it in a way that they didn’t mistreat me, I didn’t (and don’t) have to live such a miserable life, and my tormentors wouldn’t have to incur the Wrath of the Most High? Why go through all the trouble? It just all seem so pointless…

If I had a choice, I’d rather be a blissful, ignorant fool than a tormented, miserable genius. But I guess that’s really not up to me to decide.

Diamonds and Rust

Posted: September 7, 2010 in Uncategorized

This has been a day of a monumental, crushing disappointment~of not getting something I yearn for but don’t deserve anyway…AND being treated like an outcast for no longer wanting to play the fall guy.

The precious little morsels of goodness still in my life are the things I’ve worked hard to get and to keep…and maybe it’s THOSE things I should be eternally thankful for.